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Brighter Now

from Optimist by Kevin Calaway

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about

This song is very specifically about overcoming the breakup that inspired "Pessimist" and the loneliness that ensues. The first bridge is bitter and vindictive, but by the second bridge I (or Stephen) come to realize that if it seems like the world is out to get us, it's probably us out to get the world.

lyrics

It could have gone worse
But then, it could have gone better
I was stupid, I got hurt, but now there's just
A pushup between me and where I want to be

After weeks of the world's saddest stress dreams
I'm ready to face another human face to face to face to face
I was the king once and I can be again
This is my throne and I'm gonna reclaim it

I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be
I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be

Either I'm deaf or no one's talking to me
Either I'm blind or no one's walking with me
Either I'm dead or no one's helping me up
I drink the dregs of a bitter cup
Maybe I'm dumb 'cause no one's talking to me
Maybe I'm lame 'cause no one's walking with me
Maybe I'm dead 'cause they've left me to rest
But I'm heading toward the light, I guess

Call off the band, tell the florists they can suck it
Things had got out of hand, but now it's just
A battle between me and my own history
After months of the smell of the garbage chute cutting
The air of the hall outside my place to place to place
I was the king and I will always be royal
This is my throne and I will reclaim it

I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be
I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be

Either I'm deaf or I stopped listening
Either I'm blind or I don't notice anything
Either I'm dead or maybe just dead inside
Am I introverted or just drowning in my pride?
Maybe I'm dumb 'cause I can't get it through my thick skull
Lame 'cause I've had it up to here with my bull
Dead 'cause this isn't really living, is it?
Is it really living if it isn't really living?

I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be
I'm brighter now
A little bit brighter now
A little bit brighter now
Or not as dark as I used to be

credits

from Optimist, released June 5, 2018

license

all rights reserved

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about

Kevin Calaway Seattle, Washington

I could while away the hours conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain - but who has time for that? I regulate my mood with musical catharsis and publish my diary on the internet for the whole world to hear, wearing my heart and my influences on my sleeve like a man who really needs to do laundry. ... more

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