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about

A concept album about pride and humility; we are happiest when we are in the service of those around us.

credits

released April 26, 2017

Kevin Calaway: everything

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Kevin Calaway Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: Vamos
Vamos (ya, espere) [Let's go... ok, wait...]

Hay trabajo que hacer y no hay nadie que lo haga [There is work to do and nobody who'll do it]
Hay personas disponibles pero todas ya marcadas [There are people available but we already called them]
Hace tiempo atras, el trabajo hecho fue [Some time ago, the work got done]
Pero hoy no es, tampoco creo que manana lo hare [But today it doesn't, nor do I think I'll do it tomorrow]

Por flojera es, no es nada personal [It's because we're lazy, it's not personal]
El trabajo poco hecho es la meta principal [The undone work is the main goal]
Pero no hay quien lo haga ni tampoco lo habra [But nobody will do it nor will anyone ever]
Porque hoy no hay, tampoco creo que algiuen lo hara [Because there's nobody today, nor do I think anyone will do it]

Si no me voy de frente, voy a echarme en mi mecedora [If I don't go straight there, I'll crash in my rocking chair]
Merezco una siesta, por lo menos veinticuatro horas [I deserve a nap, at least 24 hours]
Si tu no me encuentras, acostado estoy el dia de hoy [If you don't find me, I'm asleep today]
Si es asi, no vuelvas, porque es fin de mes, y ya no soy [If it's so, don't come back, because it's the end of the month, and I'm not anymore]
Track Name: The Night Terrors of Mr. Entertainment
Come quickly to the window now
I have a mission for you
You've got to leave your room and head out tonight
Don't tell a whisper to your mom
Don't let your father know it
This mission's you and you alone, my child

Tell me who you are
Tell me where you've been
Tell me where you're off to
You're my new and nightly friend

You've really got a knack for this
Who knew you'd have such talent?
This winter weeping blew my brains out tonight
You can take on Broadway, kid
You could be a hit sensation
Never let nobody steer you wrong, my child

Tell me who you are
Tell me where you've been
Tell me where you're off to
You're my new and nightly friend

I'm Mr. Entertainment
It's good to meet you,
Boy, it's good to meet you.
Glamour, boy, you're famous
You've got a show?
Boy, you're good to go.
You could be a star

Sadness was your best idea
I think it's gotten stale
Why don't you try and step things up for tonight?
Add a little pinch of drama
Make all of your loved ones frightened
It's all for show and they'll be kind, my child

Tell me who you are
Tell me where you've been
Tell me where you're off to
You're my new and nightly friend
Don't you trust my voice?
Would I lie to you?
You don't have any choice
The fire's awaiting you
It's always waiting
Track Name: One Little Deathwish
They've found a cure for polio!
They've found a cure for smallpox.
They've vaccinated hepatitis
They've vaccinated chicken pox
Research scientists
Working all around the clock
Diabetes, cancer, AIDS
But ain't no cure for what I've got

Father! Pastor!
Where is the light that you have?
Light it shine bright in the darkness of my soul
And if it don't shine and the feeling ain't right
I ain't wasting my time getting old

Life offered me an exit
I saw it and I took it
But the doggie door slammed right in my face
I can only do
What I feel is right
Goodnight
One deathwish keeps me awake

Lollipops and razor blades
Cut the rope and tie the knot
Tourniquets and clamps and vices!
Someone make the blood clot!
Doctors, shrinks and gurus
Handy little notes jot
Zoloft is the key
But ain't no cure for what I've got

Father, mother, where is the luck that I've seen?
Shed some light on the darkness on my heart
'Cuz I'm popping these pills, they ain't helping my ills
But I'm taking them still, it's a start

Life offered me an exit
I saw it and I took it
But the doggie door slammed right in my face
I can only do
What I fear is right
Goodnight
One deathwish keeps me awake

40 little sleeping pills
Sitting in the bottle
39 little sleeping pills
Bottle starts to rattle
32 little sleeping pills
Eating em up like candy
20 little sleeping pills
Boy these sure are dandy
7 little sleeping pills
7 left to take
0 little sleeping pills
One little deathwish keeping me awake
Why am I awake? What more could it take?

Do the mortal coil shuffle with me, babe
Don't fear the reaper
He's such a harmless creature
Oh, baby, the wait is over
I've found the permanent solution
The only resolution
I've finally found the cure for what I've got
But it ain't no cure for what I've got
Track Name: The Perfect Sin
If I am sinless, then how can I repent?
If I am perfect, then what can I learn?
The truth is that I know I'm holier-than-thou
I'm just better than the rest of y'all
Why can't you understand?
It's not that hard, people
God speaks to me in visions and dreams
And I know I'm either saved or I'm destined to fall

I haven't ruled out madness quite yet
I haven't ruled out madness or pride
The future's dreary for my body is weak
And my spirit has a different plan
Why can't you understand?
It's not that hard, people
Satan speaks to me in visions and dreams
And I know I'm either saved or I'm destined to fall

I am a servant of the Lord
I am an Ephraimite
I am a cog in the machine
And I'm a sodomite
I will be numbered with the first
A resurrected saint
And in a thousand years of love
That's when I'll learn to hate
I can't sit around awaiting the day in which I'll betray my Lord
I'll be better if I suffer
Just toss me my crown of thorns
Track Name: Claim the Earth
I'm just sipping on my juicebox
Wondering why I bought the juicebox
And if I should have bought a juicebox
Of a slightly different brand
Like it makes a bit of difference
If the quality's consistent
I'll be staring to the distance
With the juicebox in my hand
With my shoulder bag around my neck
Clip snagged to the pocket of my pants
As I try and I try to get myself free
Thinking only of the juicebox of a slightly different brand

I get distracted so easily
I get lost in my thoughts
The papers fall down, the platters fall down
And the confidence I've gained in myself falls down
I fall, I fail so easily
Like an infomercial actor
I know that I'm weak
And I know that I'm meek
And I can't stand up to claim the Earth

If I go to this appointment
Then I'll miss the next appointment
'Cuz I'll be at this appointment
For an hour and a half
It'd be better just to cancel
But I know that I can't handle
When my schedule gets dismantled
No excuses, I'll just laugh
With my sweaty palms and my mouth glued shut
The hours always seem to end
And I'm way behind, I've got places to be
Thinking only of the juicebox of a slightly different brand

I get distracted so easily
I get lost in my thoughts
The papers fall down, the platters fall down
And the confidence I've gained in myself falls down
I fall, I fail so easily
Like an infomercial actor
I know that I'm weak
And I know that I'm meek
And I can't stand up to claim the Earth

It's mine, it's mine, that's what they say
But I imagine it's smoke and mirrors
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine anyway
Solitude's my biggest fear

I'm just sitting on my future
Wondering if I have a future
And if I'll have a better future
Than I ever had a past
But the Earth's not really worth much
Don't need money when the dirt talks
All I really want's a juicebox
Of a slightly different brand
Track Name: Attention Center
I need an audience, someone to watch me be
I need to be a spectacle, I am a sight to see
All lines open
Waiting for your call
Or were you hoping
You'd have some time to stall?
You and me, guys
We're like the Berlin wall
You can't see a thing
Until we start to fall

Encore performance, I'm doing it all from scratch
With me, at me, I'm just glad, I got them all to laugh
All lines open
Even a dollar helps
Or were you hoping
To save some for yourself?
You and me, guys
We're like the Challenger
You can't feel a thing
But we both get burned

My stories suck and my jokes aren't good
I robbed myself of my childhood

A spectacle is a sight to see so that must mean a spectacle's me

All lines open
Any minute now
Or am I hoping
In vain to take my bow?
You and me, guys
We're like the Arab spring
My days are at an end
And I don't hear a thing
And I don't see a thing
And I don't feel a thing
And I am nothing
Track Name: (I Can't Sing) Cabaret
I'm a singer
I'm a showman
Check my top hat
I'm like a snowman
Big white and careless
I couldn't care less
But I can't sing cabaret!

I am more than just a storyteller
I much prefer the title raconteur
But I can't sing better than any other fellow
And I can't sing cabaret

I can do what I want
And I do what I want
No authority holds any power over me
It's a free country so that leaves me
Free pleasing as I please, being what I be
I'm my own dad now
I'm the president of me
But I can't sing cabaret

Oh, what lovely eyes I have
Oh, how chiseled my chinny-chin-chin
I'm certain I'm just born with it
I'm straight Top 40, I'm inny-inny-in
All the boys want to be me
And the girls want to be me
And I can't sing cabaret

Yeah, uh-huh, word up
When I'm grooving in the jungle
Urban jungle where I'm living
And I'm fighting with the monkeys
'Cause I ain't banana-giving
Got my morals, got my standards
But a man has got to eat
And the diet that I'm used to's
Lobster tail, Kobe beef
I could never deign to Cheetos
Eat McDonald's? That's absurd
A man who's reached my status
Breaks McDonald's at a word
But I've far too much integrity
It's pointless anyway
For for all my many talents I just can't sing cabaret

Wah, wah, wah, wah, I hate fun
I'm unhappy and other uns.
There's nothing for me under the sun
And what's worse? I just can't sing cabaret

Do you ever feel like no one understands you?
I feel that way quite often, it's a problem
Just like any other, I've desires to relate
But I can't sing cabaret

I'm a singer
I'm a showman
Check my jacket
I'm like a strawman
All loose and happy
My arms are flappy
And I can't sing anyway
Track Name: Feigning a Voice
I don't know how to talk without feigning a voice
I don't know how to sing without feigning a voice
I don't know how to live without feigning a boy
I don't know how to talk without feigning a voice

What's your favorite me?
Which limited edition do you like best?
I'd be happy to make adjustments
If you'd put them to the test
What's my vision mean
If I make my product for all the rest?
I'm my own project
I'm not finished yet

What am I trying to be?
The future's blurry at its best
And the autopilot's busted
So this bird can't leave its nest
What's my destiny?
Have I had my fortune told in jest?
It's like the world I possess
And now my fingers are wet

I can be a mess
I can be a clown
I can hold you tight
I can stick around
I can climb a hill
I can roll back down
I can look for myself
But I can't be found

Why can I not see?
A little too timid to invest
A character is a gamble
And I've emptied out my chest
So where does that leave me?
With no fine tuning, without zest
I have no project
I'm a shriveled mess
Track Name: Find the Rat
Find the rat! (Find it)
Find the rat! (Find it)
If he sticks his head out (Bash him!)
Find the rat! Find the rat!

Who could be against me?
A little furry nose-twitcher
Why can't he just come clean?
For him, it'd probably end better
What am I to do?
What am I to say?
It could even be you
Who even knows anyway?
The only clue we have is that he stinks and he squeaks

Find the rat! (Find it)
Find the rat! (Find it)
If he sticks his head out (Bash him!)
Find the rat! Find the rat and let him die!

What have you against me?
It's heresy and hearsay
I'm golden and spit-cleaned
There's nothing more to see, babe
Like a Sadducee, dead
Like a Pharisee, proud
Nothing inside my head
Or nothing I'd say aloud
The only clue you have is that you think I'm cheap

I'm the rat (I'm it)
I'm the rat (I'm it)
If I stick my head out (Don't shoot!)
I'm the rat! I'm the rat!
Track Name: Pay the Pension
All things in moderation
All grains in season
All vices are forgiven
Within reason

What's the matter?
I'm on top!
I'm the master and
I won't stop

It doesn't matter if I'm doing what I like
And I'm happy doing what I'm happy doing
It doesn't matter if I'm doing what I like
As long as it's healthy

All things in moderation
All grains in season
All vices are forgiven
Within reason

I can't help it
I don't know
It's automatic
I've lost control

It doesn't matter if I'm punishing myself
And collateral damage is unheard of
It doesn't matter if I'm punishing myself
As long as it's healthy

All things in moderation
All grains in season
All vices are forgiven
Within reason

I think this is what they call denial
It could be healthy

I think this is what they call denial
It could be healthy

I think this is what they call denial
And it ain't healthy

I think this is what they call denial
I think this is what they call denial

A little rock and roll never hurt nobody
A little bit of jazz never hurt nobody
A little bit of pride never hurt nobody
It killed somebody
Like me
Track Name: Scarecrow's Lament
Firm and steadfast
Or flawed and stubborn?
As awkward as a second floor piano store
I'm outstanding
Extraordinary
As clumsy as the plot of Zardoz

Am I really that big?
Am I really that great?
Am I that close to he who can seal my fate?
Am I doing my best?
Am I keeping the law?
Or is this burlap sack just a pillow of straw?

Fixed and focused
Or lost and bloated
As humble as Oliver Cromwell
Extra ordinary
I'm out standing
'Cause everyone's left me alone

I'm not an only child
Track Name: Lethargy
Lethargy
Apathy
Entropy
Leprosy

Do you really really wanna?

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was younger
That dream never panned out
Look where I am now
Track Name: Dark Window
I look my best reflected in a dark window
I see myself as God sees me
No imperfections illuminated by the light
I am the man I want to be
No crooked teeth
No acne scars
No unibrow
Nothing but art
I see myself reflected in a dark window
I have the confidence to start

I do my best work when I have a cheerleader
Someone to tell me she loves me
No criticism, suggestions just enthusiastic
To make me feel like we're a team
One for the road
One for the ride
One for the red
That's flowing inside
I see my best work reflected by my cheerleader
My right hand gal, my muse, my guide

So what's holding me down?
Let's start painting this town!

I'm not gonna let someone who's not me tell me who's me and who isn't me.
I won't be the t-shirt model mannequin who fakes his smiles constantly
If you think I'm saying this to spite you, well, I'll have you know
That I can take suggestions or advice if you can say it so
It makes me feel appreciated like I have someone who cares about me
We'll work me out, see

Now I see you in all your little imperfections
Don't be ashamed 'cause you're all right
We'll take your photo reflected in a dark window
We'll leave the flash off, there's no light
Can't see the tears
Can't see the odds
Can't see with the cones
You see with the rods
You see yourself reflected in a dark window
You see yourself a child of God

So what's holding you down?
Let's start painting this town

Never let someone who isn't you tell you who's you and who just isn't you
Do not be the t-shirt model mannequins that everybody wants you to
If you think I'm saying this to change you then I'll have you know
That you can take suggestions or advice if they can say it so
It makes you feel appreciated like you have someone who cares about you
We'll work you out too

God knows I'm not perfect, but he knows me perfectly
God knows I'm not perfect, but he knows that we can be
Just the way we are
If we keep trying but not too hard

And let's not ever let someone who's not us tell us who's us and who isn't us
Let's not be the t-shirt model mannequins that everybody thinks of us
If you think I'm saying this to change you, well, I'll have you know
That we can take suggestions or advice if they can say it so
It makes us feel appreciated like we have someone who cares about us
We'll be victorious
Track Name: Voices
I think you all understand me
At some point or another, I think everyone tries to take his life
They all seem so happy
But in every high school class, someone's got to be picked last for gym
You may be low but you're never alone
There's always someone willing to pick up the phone

But then you hear
"Bottoms up!
Kill yourself."

There's so many voices in this world
How can we know which ones to trust?
There's so many choices in this world
And we keep making the bad ones
There's so much confusion in this world
Everyone wants to be the 'it' girl
So if we get swept up by the world
We're gonna get driven straight to madness

I see the Hell all around me
Thanking God daily that he always seems to hold me high
Being bad is faddy
But when rock bottom's hit, the only direction left is, go up
I may be low but I'm never alone
There's always someone waiting to welcome you home

But then I hear,
"Toss your pants,
Be a clock"

There's so many voices in this world
How can we know which ones to trust?
There's so many choices in this world
And we keep making the bad ones
There's so much confusion in this world
Everyone wants to be the 'it' girl
So if we get swept up by the world
We're gonna get driven straight to madness

Monday's morning talk show
Is Tuesday's eleven o'clock
Wednesday's evening magazine
Is Thursday's headline shock
Friday's up-and-coming
Is Saturday's EAS
And Sunday, holy Sunday
Well, Sunday is the day of rest

Be as strong as you can be
You know what's right even if it isn't selling in high demand
Let's crash the market
Take your neighbor by the hand, help him carry his big banner proud
He may be low but he's never alone
We people go together like butter and scones

But then you hear,
"Rest a while
Sin a bit"

Listen to the small voice
Listen to the still voice
Listen to your conscience
Or listen to the Holy Ghost
Listen to yourself
Listen to your true friends
And you'll never ever ever
Have to ask yourself again

There's so many voices in this world
How can we know which ones to trust?
There's so many choices in this world
And we keep making the bad ones
There's so much confusion in this world
Everyone wants to be the 'it' girl
So if we get swept up by the world
We're gonna get driven straight to madness
Track Name: Anxiety Pals Podcast
Everything is vanity
Everyone is scared like me

Cold and alone in the grey of the world
Three billion boys and three more billion girls
Zillions of dead folk who lost all the curls
In their hair off their skull
The goths and the preps and the jocks and the nerds
The Heart and the Head and the Bee and the Bird
Everyone’s happy, it seems so absurd
‘Cuz their thoughts are awful

Everything is vanity
Everyone is scared like me

A man shouldn’t cry and a woman is strong
To need someone else is to be in the wrong
So why do we keep buying cheap emo songs?
‘Cuz our thoughts are awful
We talk about gossip, elections, and cars
But it’s all so impersonal, none of it ours
Because we’re afraid to show off the scars
Before they grow dull

Everything is vanity
Everyone is scared like me

Everything is vanity
Everyone is scared like me

So come hold my hand please and join in this rhyme
I know it’s embarrassing, trying to mime
The words of my mouth, I’ll forgive you this time
It’s a lot you’ve been through
I’ll be your buttress; I’ll be your relief
I’ll help all the fallen get back to their feet
I know with my efforts, I can’t bring world peace
But my peace be with you

Everything is peachy keen
Everyone, just sing with me
Track Name: Sad Songs
Today's another opportunity
Tomorrow brings another one still
So why waste today's opportunity
By telling yourself, "Tomorrow I will?"
Can't you see the quantity of options that you have today?
To go, to do, to eat, to sleep, to speak, to fight, to work, to play
It's not that hard to do a little good
But you've got Layne Staley telling you he would if he could

Sad songs make other people sad
Being sad makes other people write sad songs
Let's break the mold of being down
Make a smile of that frown
Sing songs that make sad people glad
Till the whole world's holding hands and singing along

Did you hear you're a wonderful person?
The world is lucky to have you here
So go find another great person
And tell them yourself what they want to hear
Or buy a stranger lunch or give a friend of yours an ear to lend
Or pick up all the trash that drivers left along the highway bend
A smile's as contagious as a yawn
But still James Hetfield's telling you that all hope is gone

Sad songs make other people sad
Being sad makes other people write sad songs
Let's break the mold of being down
Make a smile of that frown
Sing songs that make sad people glad
Till the whole world's holding hands and singing along

Soldiers of smiles
Warriors of love
Our arms are fully loaded with high fives and hugs
Our only mission
Our mantra we repeat
Time and time again, to the rhythm on the beat

We spread the love, spread the joy, make a little bit of noise
Make a little bit more just a little bit later

And why should we cry when laughter costs just as many tears?
I stand with Jaret Reddick in that all we need is love and non-alcoholic beer

I feel so full of energy
I wish the world could feel it too
So let's cast off all this dark energy
And send it to the pigs in the San Diego Zoo
Life was meant to be a blessing for the ones God blessed with life
So why do we insist in filling all our days with pain and strife?
We should focus more on just befriending
And maybe Avril Lavigne's gonna get her happy ending

Sad songs make other people sad
Being sad makes other people write sad songs
Let's break the mold of being down
Make a smile of that frown
Sing songs that make sad people glad
Till the whole world's holding hands and singing along
Track Name: Some Days
Some days, you don't feel the same
Some days, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed
Some days, it's just too much to take
Some days, you don't know if you're better off alive or dead
If I take off my tie
Am I still the same guy
Or did I manage to divide
Me, myself, and I?
I don't feel right

But it's gonna be a good day after all (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
The sun is out, the love is out
And I'm about to jump and shout
The good news, have a ball (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
It's gonna be a good day after all

Some days, you don't know what to do
Some days, you've got your shirt on inside out
Some days, it's just too much for you
Some days, you're not sure what the hokey-pokey's all about
If I keep standing still
And I think that I will
Will my day be fulfilled
Or my time be killed?
Dude, just chill

'Cause it's gonna be a good day after all (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
The sun is out, the love is out
And I'm about to jump and shout
The good news, have a ball (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
It's gonna be a good day after all

There's no such thing as bad days when you learn to love the little things in life
Like music, grass, and cheese, and other things like that I like
There's no such thing as bad days when you learn to love the little things in life
Like music, grass, and cheese, and other things like that I like
There's no such thing as bad days when you learn to love the little things in life
Like music, grass, and cheese, and other things like that I like
There's no such thing as bad days when you learn to love the little things in life
Like music, grass, and cheese, and puns, and squirrels, and honeybees
And fruits, and roofs, and shiny coins, and pockets, and grilled tenderloins
And smooth round rocks, and blanket sleeves, and LDS church magazines
And smiles on a stranger's face, and owning Boardwalk and Park Place
There's no such thing as bad days

And it's gonna be a good day after all (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
The sun is out, the love is out
And I'm about to jump and shout
The good news, have a ball (Hey, man, it's gonna be a good day!)
It's gonna be a good day after all